The True Meaning of Human
by schizo-nephalim
Summary: Through a twist of fate, Burns meets a Healer named Earthborn. What followed was something neither expected, but it forever changed how he defined himself.
1. Chapter 1

The True Meaning of Human

**Disclaimer:** Earthborn is my creation…everyone else? Just playing in Stephenie Meyer's sandbox.

**Rating:** PG

**Characters:** Earthborn (OFC), Burns Living Flowers

**Description:** Through a twist of fate, Burns meets a Healer named Earthborn. What followed was something neither expected, but it forever changed how he defined himself.

**A/N:** I absolutely HATED that Stephenie Meyer ended the book the way she did! It left so many unanswered questions to me…how did Burns end up with his group of humans? Why did he sympathize with them the same way Wanderer did? What's his story? Well, this is my attempt to answer those questions. Hope you guys like it, it's been a long time in the making!

Chapter One

I awoke in a strange room; my mind was disoriented. The last thing I remembered was the crunch of metal, the breaking of glass, the pain shooting through my body…

As I bolted upright, my head spun horribly; what in the world had happened? I was only backing out of my driveway! A hand rested gently but firmly on my shoulder, restraining me from getting up completely.

"It's all right, you're at a Healing facility," a female voice said soothingly. I looked up and found the source of both the voice and the hand. The Healer was bent over, but she looked to be average height for a female. Soft, pale skin, dark brown hair pulled back, and green eyes with the subtle shimmer of the soul inside were the first things I noticed.

"What happened? Why am I here?" I asked, allowing her to gently push me back into a laying position. She released her grip and I noticed deeper; she looked to be in her late twenties, with subtle curves to show her maturity. Her face was timeless, as if she could be much older or younger than her host's age.

"There was an accident; the other Soul was a Seeker who fell asleep at the wheel while driving home from the night shift. He's perfect now, but what about you? I could only heal what damage I saw, but does anywhere else hurt? Do you feel dizzy or nauseous at all?"

I considered that for a moment; the momentary dizziness from changing positions had passed, and now I felt completely normal again.

"I'm perfect, thank you. I was a little dizzy when I first sat up, but that's gone now. Thank you, Healer." She smiled at me, and I noticed her straight, even, white teeth. A strange sensation shot through me as our eyes met, and I noticed her bite her lower lip slightly.

"It was my pleasure to heal you. What's your name?"

"Burns Living Flowers," I replied, then held my tongue. I wished to ask her name, but I didn't want to sound too interested.

"Well, Burns Living Flowers, I'm Healer Earthborn," she replied, still smiling slightly as she blushed. "I guess the name says it all. Where were you before Earth?"

"The Fire World," I answered readily. I couldn't believe she was actually interested in where I had been, but that strange sensation was growing steadily stronger. I realized I was physically attracted to her, and I wondered if she felt the same way, if she could see that I was interested in her.

"Did you like it there?" She seemed more animated; apparently I was the first Soul from the Fire World she had met. I shrugged.

"I was only there one life term. I felt it…cruel to destroy the Walking Flowers, even though it was necessary for survival. I was unable to make myself wait for the Spiders to arrive with an answer, so I chose to come to Earth when my host was nearing the end of its life."

She nodded in understanding as she stared into my eyes; I started feeling a little dizzy again, and I closed my eyes to try to will it away.

"Are you in pain, Burns Living Flowers?" she immediately asked, worry coloring her voice. I shook my head, but that only made it worse.

"Just dizzy, Earthborn," I replied, trying to relieve her concern. I heard her open a bottle and then replace the lid a moment later.

"Open your mouth so I can lay this on your tongue, please," Earthborn ordered gently. I didn't bother opening my eyes as I obeyed, and she laid something on my tongue that dissolved almost instantly. I swallowed and immediately felt better, and I opened my eyes again to see her smiling. I couldn't help but smile back.

"So what were my injuries?" I asked, only to see her face fall slightly.

"You had a hairline skull fracture, and several of your ribs and your left arm and leg were broken," she replied quietly. "I gave you some more No Pain, but from the symptoms you just demonstrated, you may have a concussion as well. I know you feel well enough to run a marathon with the No Pain, but please lie still for awhile, all right?"

"All right," I replied easily, which made her smile again. A knock on the door made us both jump, and we turned to see another Healer peeking around the frame.

"Healer Earthborn, Summer Wind is requesting to see your patient," he told her. She nodded and turned back to me.

"Summer Wind was the other Soul in the accident. He's perfectly fine now, but would you like to see him? He's been pleading to see you since we healed him…I'm sure he wishes to apologize, but if you wished to rest first, that would be understandable," Earthborn informed me gently. I nodded.

"I'll make it a short visit…I'm rather tired," I said as I yawned. She turned back to the other healer and nodded.

"Let him come, Healer Frank, but please tell him to be brief, Burns Living Flowers needs to rest." Healer Frank nodded and disappeared from view, and I heard the footsteps retreating down the hall as Earthborn turned back to me. "I will let you get your rest now…you can stay here as long as you like until you feel ready to leave. Please call me if you have any discomfort."

"How do I call you?" I asked, feeling rather pleased. She walked over and pointed out a button on the railing of my bed, and I felt rather stupid for having to ask.

"Just press that button and I'll be here immediately," she said gently, the small smile on her face making my heart beat faster. After that she left the room and a tall man in a rather disheveled suit nearly ran into the room, but I hardly heard a word he said. I was entranced with the green-eyed Earthborn.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It was nearly a week since the car accident, and I hadn't stopped thinking about Healer Earthborn. She was beautiful and kind, and I couldn't help but feel my body react to her on a chemical level. I felt somewhat silly as I walked back into the Healing facility with flowers in my hand; I had called ahead to check whether she would be on duty, and I inexplicably felt nervous as I walked to the front desk. Healer Frank was at the desk, and he looked up at me with a pleasant smile when he saw the flowers.

"Burns Living Flowers! What a pleasant surprise! Are you in need of healing?" he asked me as he stood up to greet me.

"Actually, I was hoping to speak to Healer Earthborn if she's not with a patient," I said as I shook his hand. He gave me a knowing look.

"I can call her, but I don't think she will be too accommodating," he told me in a low, soothing voice. "She's had several men show interest in her in the few weeks she's been here, but she's politely declined their offers."

My eyebrows raised in surprise; it felt like a knot was stuck in my throat.

"Is she seeing anyone?" I couldn't help but ask. He chuckled.

"No, Burns Living Flowers. She considers herself a traveling Healer; she moves around every few months, so she chooses not to have a partner." He picked up the phone and pushed a button, and his voice carried over the speakers. "Healer Earthborn, would you please come to reception?"

There was nothing to do but wait now as he placed the phone back in the cradle. I had a strange urge to run back out the door, but the same nervousness kept me rooted in place. I remembered my Comforter telling me when I had only been on this planet for a week that there was no way they could possibly explain how intense the emotions of humans were to the Souls wishing to come to Earth, that I would feel moments of intense anxiety, particularly when it came to interacting with females, but that it was extremely important to resist the urge to run. He had said that if I ran away, I could be running from happiness. He said I would be hurt at times, but that the risk of emotional pain would be far outweighed by the happiness I could find if I were willing to take the chance.

Those words were playing through my head as footsteps echoed down the hall and Healer Earthborn came into view, rounding the corner at the desk. When she saw me, so many emotions flickered across her face in an instant that I was unable to catch them all. She composed herself almost immediately and closed the distance between us, smiling the same soft smile.

"Burns Living Flowers," she said as a greeting, her tone pleased. "This is an unexpected pleasure. What can I do for you?"

"Would I be able to speak to you alone for a moment? That is, if you're not busy," I asked quietly, glancing at the male Healer before meeting her gaze again. I was nearly a head taller than Earthborn, which surprised me. I knew my host was unusually tall, but she had seemed larger than life while I was her patient. I noticed she glanced nervously at her co-worker as well.

"I suppose we could speak in my office for a moment," she told me before turning to Healer Frank. "Please let me know if any of my patients require my attention."

After a nod from Healer Frank, she turned and made a motion for me to follow her. My palms were sweaty and my throat was dry, and the knot that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere was back in full force, making it difficult for me to swallow. She turned into an open door and stepped back, and I entered her office. It was light and professional; a few files were scattered on her desk, but other than that the room was very clean and organized. Two chairs sat facing her desk, and I immediately took one while she shut the door and sat in her own chair behind her desk.

"Have you had any more trouble since you were discharged?" she asked, a slight hint of concern in her voice as she eyed the flowers in my hand. I shifted in my seat as I extended the bouquet to her.

"Actually, I wished to thank you for Healing me after the accident," I said as she took the flowers and smelled them. A slight smile crossed her face as she met my gaze again.

"Somehow I don't think you would have brought Healer Frank flowers if he had been the one to heal you," she replied. I was about to speak, but she held up a hand, and I took her cue to stay quiet as she continued. "Don't get me wrong, I am truly flattered, Burns Living Flowers, but…I prefer not to get attached to others. I move to a different place every three months. There is so much to see in this world, which is why I travel so much, and I do not wish to start a relationship when I would only be leaving my partner behind when I move again."

As she explained her reasoning, the elation I had felt when she admitted to being flattered crashed back down, and it felt like my chest was being ripped open. I struggled to hide this from her, but she seemed to read my emotions as if they were written on my face. She opened her mouth to speak, but I raised my hand and she closed her mouth again. I cleared my throat.

"I remember something my Comforter told me when I had only been here a week," I started, wincing as my voice hitched. "He said that it was important not to run away from situations that brought about intense emotional anxiety…that if I ran away, that I could possibly be running from happiness. He said that there was the possibility of emotional pain, but that the risks of that were far outweighed by the happiness I would find if I took the chance. And I…I wish to take that chance…with you."

I looked at her again as I finished, and she seemed deep in thought at my words. Her expression seemed distant, yet there was a sadness behind it that pulled at the pain in my chest.

"Your Comforter seems to understand human emotions better than most," she murmured softly, and I couldn't tell if she was speaking to herself or me. A long pause followed, and my anxiety reached a fever pitch in the silence. I wished to speak, to say anything, but I was afraid that if I spoke, any chance I might have to see Earthborn after this conversation would be gone.

She stood and carefully placed the flowers in an empty vase on a low bookshelf by the window, not meeting my gaze. I watched her arrange the bouquet for several moments before she finally spoke.

"I don't know," she said quietly, "my instincts are screaming no, but…" My heart leapt at her final word, and I waited for her to continue. After several moments, she took a deep breath and let it out, but still didn't speak.

"Would you like to get a cup of coffee? We could discuss this further, and if you chose not to have a relationship with me, that would be the end of it," I suggested hesitantly. My muscles locked, and I studied her reaction to my words in vain; I couldn't read anything in her expression or body language to indicate rejection or acceptance of my proposal.

"It's nearly time for my lunch break," she finally said as she glanced at the clock. "Perhaps we could discuss it over lunch?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

I tossed my keys on the table beside the door, shutting the door but not turning the locks. There was no point to them in a peaceful world, anyway. My mind was still reeling at my lunch date with Earthborn; she was sweet, funny, and incredibly compassionate in my feelings about my time on Fire World, yet she rarely wished to talk about herself. The closest she ever came was speaking of memories from her host, and even then she seemed reserved. The stories she told were nothing like what I had heard about the violence of humans; her host was nearly as kind and compassionate as she.

Passing by the kitchen and living room, I went straight to my bed and sprawled out on my back, staring at the ceiling but noticing nothing. Every time our hands had touched, I felt my heart race in my chest as a strange feeling shot through my body. There had been moments where our eyes had met and I felt like I was falling into those emerald depths, and I had hoped beyond hope that she felt the same way because she seemed just as entranced as I was.

Now that I was home, I was second-guessing every second we had spent together. I knew what I felt, but I couldn't help but worry that I had read the signs wrong. We had exchanged numbers after lunch, which had made me even more hopeful, but did she really intend to call me? How long should I wait until calling her? Was she just trying to be polite and let me down easy by saying she would call, or did she actually want to see me again?

I knew she was still working, so I knew better than to expect her to call before going home, but I thought I would go insane waiting and wondering. Still, all I could do was wait, because I sensed that pushing the issue would drive her away from me, and that was the last thing I wanted.

*Earthborn's POV*

My hands shook as I set the coffee cup down on my desk, nearly overturning it. God, how could I be so stupid? I shouldn't have agreed to go to lunch with Burns—that's what he asked me to call him. Why am I so weak? How hard would it have been to just say no? The fewer people in my life, the better off I'll be.

No matter what I did, I couldn't get him out of my head. His short, spiky red hair, the freckles so widespread that it nearly hid his fair skin, the intense dark blue with the ring of silver…my hormones were in overdrive, and it scared me to death, but there was a feeling beyond the hormones also. I never thought I would feel a connection with anyone ever again. That was half the reason I kept moving around the country, so I wouldn't have the chance to get close to anyone or develop feelings for anyone.

A knock at the door made me jump, and I finally knocked over the coffee cup that I'd threatened to spill the entire way back to my office. I looked up to see Healer Frank staring at me in concern bordering on alarm.

"Healer Earthborn, are you all right?" he asked as he grabbed a roll of paper towels and ran over to help me mop up the spilled coffee. My hands were still shaking as I threw the Styrofoam cup away.

"It's nothing," I tried to assure him, but I could tell from the way my voice shook that he didn't believe me. "Just…an emotional imbalance, that's all."

He studied me intently for a moment. I rarely spoke of myself, preferring to ask questions rather than answer them. I could practically see the gears turning in his head, and I knew that he knew my hesitation in answering was because I couldn't stand to talk about my emotions.

"Healer Earthborn, when was the last time you spoke to a Comforter?"

I balked at his question; Comforters were for Souls who had trouble adapting to being in a human host, and I didn't fit that category.

"I've never needed a Comforter before, Healer Frank. I think I just need a break to try to sort things out…would you be able to handle my patients today? They don't need too much medical attention now, but I'm in no emotional condition to take care of them," I told him as I grabbed my keys from my desk.

"Did your lunch with Burns Living Flowers go well?" he asked, making me freeze in my tracks for just a moment. I glanced back over my shoulder to see him staring at me with a look of dawning comprehension and amusement.

"I'd rather not talk about it right now," I replied as kindly as I could, then turned and walked swiftly to the exit without waiting for a response.

After I drove myself to my apartment, I walked in and shut the door behind me, then went to the bedroom and locked myself in. I went into the bathroom and stared at my reflection; I looked like I had seen a ghost, white and terrified. My eyes were burning, and I slipped the white case out of my pocket and opened both sides, then quickly removed the contacts from my eyes and put them in the case. After I used eyedrops for the irritation and poured fresh lens cleaning solution into the contacts case, I closed it and looked at my reflection again.

Without the contacts, my vision was clearer, and I saw nothing of the person from before the invasion left. The confidence, the silliness, the solid foundation my friends and family had relied on—they were all gone. As I stared at my reflection, I felt horror at the person I had become over the years of hiding in plain sight and blending in as a traveling Healer. It was the true reason I chose to move frequently and avoid getting close to anyone, the reason that I was terrified of the emotions that Burns brought out without even trying.

Without the cloudy silver rings in my vision, I could plainly see that my heart was dying. If anyone thought to burst in on me at this moment, all the years of being undercover wouldn't be worth a hill of beans, because I would be exposed for what they all feared more than anything…I was human.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The sun was starting to dip below the horizon, and my fragile nerves couldn't take just sitting around waiting for Earthborn to call, so I slipped my cell phone in my pocket and headed out the front door to take a walk. Dark clouds hung low in the sky, and the breeze had a slight chill that promised rain for the evening, but none of that bothered me as I made my way unconsciously down the street. My feet were on auto-pilot; I had no idea where I was going—nor did I care—because my mind was so filled with the charming Healer.

I had no idea how long I had been walking before I came upon the local public track. The football field that accompanied it had been torn down in human times, but the track remained for those who wished to walk for exercise. A few people were gathering their things and leaving, but from the distance I saw a lone figure still jogging despite the threat of rain. My stomach instantly knotted up, but it wasn't until I reached the fence enclosing the track that I realized why.

Earthborn was in her own world, seemingly lost in the exertion of the fast pace she had set. Her hair was still pulled back, but she had traded her scrubs for a black sports bra and a pair of **very** short black athletic shorts, revealing her long legs, soft fair skin, and a toned body that made my heart stutter for a moment. I could tell she hadn't noticed me yet, and I noticed a set of wires running to each ear…hmmm, she must be listening to music.

The streetlights had already come on, but by the time she finished, they were nearly the only light there was to see by. After watching her jog for three laps, she walked one final lap and sat down on the bench beside the track, breathing hard. I didn't know whether to be hurt or amused that she had never noticed my presence, even though she had passed me four times and I was only twenty yards from where she sat.

When I entered the gate to the track, she never looked up, and I smiled to myself as I realized that she was still listening to her music. The closer I came to her, however, the more I picked up on her posture and body language, and I could sense that something was troubling her. I felt the smile fall from my face when I heard a quiet keening sound, and the pain in my chest returned with a vengeance as I saw tears mingle with the sweat on her face.

Not knowing what else to do, I closed the distance between us and gently rested a hand on her shoulder. She leapt to her feet as though burned, spinning toward me with terror written on her face. When she saw who I was, some of the fear left her face, only to be replaced with what looked like embarrassment.

"Burns, you scared the daylights out of me!" she exclaimed breathlessly, her voice hitching and breaking. She pulled the earbuds out of her ears with one hand while she used the other to wipe the sweat and tears from her face with a small towel. Now that she wasn't wearing makeup, I noticed she had a scattering of freckles across her face and arms as well, though not nearly as much as I had.

"I'm sorry Earthborn, I didn't mean to frighten you," I apologized quietly as she sat back down, and I took a seat as well on the other side of her bag. "I was taking a walk when I noticed you jogging, and I thought I would say hello."

She seemed flustered as she shoved the towel in her bag and grabbed a bottle of Gatorade out of a side pocket, then chugged half the bottle before stopping for a breath. My nervousness came back full force as I stared at her, unsure of what to say now that I was able to speak to her. From what I could tell, she had the same trouble with finding words, but a low rumble of thunder made both of us look up.

"Looks like the bottom's gonna fall out any second," she muttered, her eyes still evaluating the low, dark storm clouds. This phrase struck me as odd, and I gave her a quizzical look.

"I've never heard that before," I said. She chuckled as she picked up her bag and looked at me with a small smile.

"It's an expression my host was accustomed to using," she explained as we started to walk to the gate that led to the parking lot. "I guess you could compare the storm clouds to a bucket filled with water…the bottom falling out would be when it starts raining really hard."

"It still sounds odd, but when you explain it like that, it does make sense," I mused aloud. A light drizzle started falling, but her pace didn't quicken when the droplets hit her skin, and I looked over at her again. She seemed lost in thought, but when our fingers brushed, she jumped and looked uncomfortable, her entire body abruptly tense. This confused me; why should I seem to have such a negative effect on her when we connected so easily?

"Can I give you a ride? I'd hate to think of you having to walk home in the rain," she said, wildly changing the subject as she opened the trunk of her car and tossed her bag inside. Her tone was pleasant, but I sensed that she was trying to mentally and emotionally distance herself from me, and it hurt. I closed the distance and took her hands in mine, causing her to meet my eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked, my eyes burning with unshed tears. I blinked them away, immediately ashamed with some human sense of character that men weren't supposed to cry. "I know I'm attracted to you, and I _think_ you're attracted to me, but it's like you're determined to ignore what you feel. Why?"

"Because I can't take you with me when I leave," she said softly. "I can't uproot you from this place, and I can't stay when there's still so much to see."

"So you're going to be alone forever?" From the way she pulled away, I had a feeling my question had struck a nerve. "Forgive me…I don't mean to sound so insistent."

The rain became steady, but she made no move to get in the car, and I was too nervous to notice anything more than her reaction. She looked deeply troubled, almost like she was about to cry, leaning back against the side of the car with her eyes closed.

"It's okay," she finally whispered. Her voice was hoarse, and I felt even more pain when I saw that her eyes were brimming with tears again. "Get in, I'll take you home."

My heart was heavy the entire ride. She only spoke to ask for directions, and since I only lived nine blocks from the track, it didn't take long at all to reach my apartment. I was hesitant to get out of the car, though, and my hesitation had nothing to do with the fact I could barely make out the building fifteen feet away through the downpour.

"I just want to understand," I said quietly. I wasn't sure if she heard me over the rain beating down on the car, but when I turned to her, a sad smile crossed her face as a tear fell.

"I guess I can blame my host," she finally said. This didn't make much sense to me, but she explained before I could ask. "She…suffered…a lot…thanks to the men she got involved with. They broke her heart…there were others who were in worse situations, but she endured so much pain…I guess the thought of a relationship is just scary to me."

I was baffled. In a strange way, her explanation made sense, but it was hard to see the logic. All I could do was shake my head; I'd been human long enough to understand how logic tended to take a back seat to emotion. My feelings for Earthborn, the amazing Soul sitting beside me in the front seat of the car, were a testament to that—no matter how she told me that she couldn't be with me, I still felt drawn to her like a moth to flame, and I couldn't find the ability to walk away and leave her be. Just the thought of trying that sensible path sent a jolt of pain through my chest.

A sniffle pulled me out of my thoughts, and I looked at her again to see her wiping away her tears, looking thoroughly ashamed. My heart pounded in my chest as more took their place…I couldn't take it…without thinking, I reached across the distance and gently brushed away the tears with my thumb, my palm cupping her face. To my surprise, she didn't flinch away from my touch this time.

Our eyes met again, and all rational thought flew out of my mind when I saw the pain in her eyes. All I wanted was to make that pain disappear, but I had no idea how to do that. Meanwhile, my emotions and hormones took over, and I leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

I pulled back almost immediately to ascertain her reaction, despite my intense longing; the expression on her face was something I hadn't seen before, but memories from my host helped me place it…she almost looked…scared?

"I'm sorry," I told her, automatically pulling away as the pain in my chest roared to life yet again. My eyes started stinging and watering, and I reached for the door handle to get out of the car. However, I was caught by surprise when a warm, gentle hand found mine, and I stopped and turned to her again.

The look in her eyes had changed; the sadness and pain was still there, but something contrasted with it. What was that? My mind supplied several words—hope, longing, determination, desire—but I couldn't quite decide which would apply to what I was seeing.

Before I realized what was happening, we were kissing again; her lips were soft, the kiss gentle and heartfelt. I thought my chest would explode with happiness…I still didn't know how it had happened, but I was thrilled that it did. When it eventually ended, I found myself staring into her eyes again. Her hand caressed my face, the soft touch leaving my skin tingling.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" she asked, her voice barely audible above the drumming of rain on the car. The question confused me, but I was too happy at the prospect of seeing her again to give it deeper thought.

"I'd like that," I replied, my voice catching in my throat from all the emotions overwhelming me. "I'd like that very much."

"I guess this is good night, then," she stated after a moment, then leaned in and gave me one last kiss, just as moving as before.

"Good night," I told her after she pulled away, then reluctantly got out of the car. It was impossible to run in the downpour, but I hurried to my door to try to escape the deluge of the storm. When I opened the door and looked back, Earthborn was giving me a strange look—fear and uncertainty and hope and so many other emotions mixed together that it confused me even more. I didn't shut my door until the taillights of her car disappeared around the corner.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

It had been three weeks since the night I first kissed Earthborn, and I was in a constant state of euphoria. We spent every spare moment together, and even my Calling as a musician—an Artist—was common ground for us, as her host had been greatly interested in music. She accompanied me to every show, sitting in the front row in the small clubs and restaurants that I performed in, cheering me on. As it turned out, her knowledge of music was vast, and she even introduced me to songs I'd never heard before; they were from human times, but they all spoke of love and life, and I was easily able to work them into my shows.

It was after one of these performances that we ended up back at my apartment, still buzzing from the excitement of the show. It was late—nearly midnight—but neither of us were tired yet, as excited as we were. There was no such thing as alcohol anymore, but it was a similar feeling of being drunk on happiness and life. Too much…once the door was closed, I kissed Earthborn and I couldn't stop. She seemed to have the same trouble of finding control as well…the kisses that had been so gentle and loving before were now heated, passionate, a fire burning out of control between us.

My body responded to the fire without my consent; my arms pulled her closer, my desire making me hard. The mating instinct had virtually taken over, and it was all I could do to not lose myself completely to it. So soon…that was the only way I could regain control, to focus on how little time we had actually known each other. It felt like a lifetime ago that I had walked into her office with flowers in my hand…how could it only be three weeks?

Hands gently but firmly pushed at my chest…her hands…I responded to the silent communication, pulling back to look into her eyes. The familiar look of uncertainty in her gaze warred with the desire we both felt, and it took every ounce of restraint I possessed to stop myself from kissing her again.

"We need to stop," she breathed out, her voice rough and quiet. "We need to stop…but I don't want to."

Those simple words broke through the last of my control, and my lips were on hers again, the fire between us blazing hotter than ever before. It carried us to the bedroom, where my bed was waiting, without conscious thought.

My body knew what to do; it had done this before, but it was a first for me that I would never forget. The way she touched me, the way we moved together, the feel of her skin against mine, the sounds she made in the throes of ecstasy…every touch, every kiss, every sensation burned itself into my memory, forged a bond between us that I knew was utterly unbreakable. I belonged to her, and she belonged to me—it was that simple, that absolute.

Afterward, we laid in each other's arms, basking in the afterglow of our lovemaking…I couldn't think of any other word for it, or at least one that didn't make it sound like something wrong or dirty. In all my lives, I'd never felt the way I did at that moment; everything was perfect, everything was as it should be.

"I love you," I whispered to her in the darkness…I'd never said those words to her before, but it was absolutely true. I would follow her anywhere she wished to go, on this planet and beyond.

"I love you too," she whispered back, her voice shaky…it took me a moment to realize she was trembling. I was immediately concerned, and my stomach twisted with nervousness. In the dim light from the window, my eyes found hers, and a faint smile graced her lips as her hand came up to caress my face. My heart pounding, I turned into her touch, kissing her palm.

"I'm giving you my heart, Burns Living Flowers." Her voice was quiet but full of emotions, and it was impossible to identify them. "Please don't break it."

"Never," I promised, then pulled her close to kiss her again. My heart felt like it would burst from happiness—the woman I loved, the woman in my arms, loved me just as much, was trusting me with her heart.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

**A/N:** Okay, I know the next couple of chapters are a bit short, but I couldn't help it. I pretty much went with the major points in their relationship instead of throwing in the mundane, everyday lovey-dovey parts as filler. This is the backbone of their relationship! Oh, and you get a little surprise about Earthborn's past too! Have fun, and please review!

The days and nights flew by; every moment spent with Earthborn felt like heaven, while every second of her absence was agony. I started counting down the hours and minutes until I would be able to see her again—whenever her shift at the Healing facility ended—but time was always against me, crawling when she was gone, sprinting when we were together.

It was one of those times, when I was counting down the hours, that I heard my front door open and close unexpectedly. I was in the kitchen, and I rushed to the living room to find Earthborn lying face down on the couch, her face buried in her hands as she kicked her shoes off, letting them drop to the floor.

When I saw her, conflicting emotions made me feel like my heart would swell with happiness, yet it felt as though an icy dagger had been stuck in my heart as well. Her presence made me elated, but she wasn't supposed to be home for several hours, and her body language made it clear that she was deeply upset about something. Not knowing what else to do, I closed the distance and crouched down beside the couch, then rested a comforting hand on her back and rubbed it soothingly.

Something fundamental had changed; my attempts at comfort only seemed to make her pain worse, and the tears turned to sobs. Not just any sobs; they seemed to come from her very soul, a deeper pain than any physical wound could cause. The depth of her pain brought tears to my eyes as well, and I pulled her into my arms, blinking back the wetness as I held her. Her arms wrapped around me in a crushing embrace, but I knew by instinct that her intention wasn't to cause harm or pain…she needed me, needed comfort, sought both so intensely that she probably didn't realize how tightly she clung to me.

We stayed that way for a long time, until her heart-wrenching sobs turned to sniffles and my shirt was soaked with her tears. I still had no clue what had brought on this unexpected outburst, this crippling pain, and my worry drove me to speak.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" I finally asked, my voice rough and quiet. The silence hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity before she finally cleared her throat.

"I…Healer Second Sunrise was with another patient, so I had to fill in for her," she started, her voice cracking. "She was supposed to do an insertion…but I had to do it…it was just a baby…"

Too overcome with emotion, she broke down into tears again, and I held her tighter. I didn't understand how she could be so upset, but it was clear that she was, and I knew she would tell me why it troubled her so much when she was ready. It seemed like hours before she finally cried herself out; the pain radiating from her hung in the air, making it hard for me to breathe.

"I'm sorry," she finally mumbled, pulling out of my arms. "My…my host's memories…it makes it hard for me to deal with things like that."

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly, taking her hand in mine and gently caressing it.

"She…she had a child…a son," she whispered brokenly. My eyes widened; she had never mentioned anything about having a child before. "He was six…she was a single mother, and he was her world…when the invasion became known to them, and the fighting broke out…he was one of the first casualties. The pain of losing him…"

She shuddered, and I pulled her back into my arms, my heart breaking all over again for her pain. No wonder she had never mentioned the boy before—if I were in her position, I probably wouldn't have been able to stand speaking about it either. Now I understood why implanting the child was so traumatic for her; it brought back memories of her son, and the pain of his loss was too much.

The rest of the day and night, I held her and comforted her as best I could. It seemed like my presence was a balm to her broken heart, and I was grateful that she trusted me enough to let me in, to see this side of her that I was certain no one else had seen. I felt strangely honored—I remembered how she appeared when we first met, and I never would have guessed at the pain she kept hidden that I was seeing now. When I tried to put myself in her position, my eyes burned with tears; she was so strong…much stronger than me, to be able to function and go on with life while she suffered inside so badly.

Unspoken, unacknowledged, a wall between us had been broken. This revelation had explained so much to me—why she moved so frequently, why she had chosen to be alone for so long, why she had been so afraid to get close to me, why she had always shied away from the subject of children—and I felt even closer to her now than I had before. I thought that I loved her before, but it seemed like that feeling was nothing compared to what I felt now.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

One year…it was my one-year anniversary with Earthborn, and it was still hard for me to believe. In spite of her habits, she had chosen to stay in this city with me instead of moving on when the time came. One revolution of this blue-green planet around a yellow star…how could it only be one year? It felt like a lifetime ago that I had been in this apartment alone, before I had met her.

It was hard to focus on anything around me; I was flying, elated, all my thoughts centered around the ring in my pocket and the ways that I could propose to her. My feet carried me down the sidewalk without conscious thought, leading me to the restaurant where I was to meet her for lunch, while she was on her break.

I arrived early, choosing a cozy table near the center of the floor. While I was waiting, I pulled the small box out of my pocket and stared at the ring inside. Since money was now a thing of the past, I could have picked absolutely anything, but I knew Earthborn. I knew what she liked, knew her distinctive style, so it had been a challenge to find what I held in my hands now. The delicate band was pure silver, with two small diamonds flanking a larger one in the center, but this also was not very large. On the inside of the band, the words _"Until the final death"_ were engraved into the metal.

The weight of many eyes on me made me look around, and I noticed that several of the patrons and workers were studying the ring in my hands with excited smiles. Embarrassment made my face flush, and I turned my eyes to the entrance, waiting for Earthborn.

When I saw her walk through the door, I quickly closed the box and slipped it in my pocket, standing to greet her. She walked over and greeted me with a smile and a kiss, making my head spin and my heartbeat accelerate.

Once we sat down, a waitress came over to give us menus and take our drink orders; I saw her give me a knowing smile as she left…she was one of the Souls that had seen the ring. All I could do was give an embarrassed nod before I turned to Earthborn again. She had seen the exchange, and her eyebrows furrowed together, as if it had bothered her. Taking her hand across the table, I smiled at her, and her expression softened again.

"So," she began quietly, "you said you wanted to talk to me about something?"

It was impossible for me to miss the inflections in her tone and her expression. She was curious, hopeful, but at the same time there was a certain dread lingering beneath it all…like she was afraid I had wanted to discuss something unpleasant or even painful. I hadn't figured out what I was going to say, but I improvised as I pulled the box back out of my pocket, keeping it hidden under the table.

"Earthborn," I began, then hesitated before the words came spilling out. "The last year—the time we've been together—has made me happier than I've ever been in all my lives. I love you so much, and now that I've found you, I can't imagine being without you ever again. In all my lives, I could never have asked for a more perfect partner than the one I've found in you."

My words made her smile, but when I pulled the ring out and dropped to one knee, her eyes widened in surprise.

"Will you marry me?"

Everyone had turned to stare at us, but I had eyes for nobody but her. Her eyes were locked on mine, and I saw the tears forming there…were they from joy or pain? I couldn't tell; my heart pounded furiously against my ribs, and I thought the suspense would drive me insane.

Before I could blink, her lips were on mine, kissing me so passionately that it took an enormous effort to remember that we were in a public place. My heart soared, and my lips turned up into a smile as we finally pulled apart, and I gingerly slid the ring out of the box and onto her finger.

Applause broke out all around us, but I hardly noticed the other Souls' reactions, their words of congratulations, their beaming faces. Everything I ever wanted, everything I loved was embodied in the woman sitting across the small table from me in the restaurant. I belonged to her, and she to me. It was that simple.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

It was only three days after I had proposed to Earthborn, and something had changed drastically. Her smiles were forced, and the pain in her eyes—the pain I thought had been banished by our relationship—had returned with a vengeance. All I could do was wonder. Did I do something to upset her? What was troubling her, exactly?

My attempts to persuade her to confide in me had hit a wall, so it was a surprise when she called me and asked me to come to her apartment. Her tone had me worried; her voice shook, and she sounded nervous. Still, I took it as a sign that she was ready to talk about whatever it was that was bothering her, and it wasn't long after sunset when I knocked on her door.

"Come in," I heard her voice call from inside. When I opened the door and walked in, the first thing I noticed was the scent of vanilla coming from the many candles lit all over the apartment. The scent and ambient light were calming, and I wondered if the effect was meant for her or me. A chill shot down my back, a warning premonition that I wasn't going to like whatever was going to happen next, but I took a deep breath, shut the door behind me, swallowed hard, and rounded the corner.

Earthborn was at the far end of the living room, her back to me, her hands resting against the mantle over the fireplace, her shoulders slumped and her head bowed. My first instinct was to rush over to her and take her in my arms, but fear held me in place. I wasn't afraid of her at all; it was the fear of this unknown issue that paralyzed me.

"Earthborn?" I said softly. To my surprise, she flinched when I spoke, and it sent a new jolt of fear and worry through me.

"Hey…can I see your phone for a second?" she asked without turning around. The question took me by surprise, but I crossed the distance between us and handed it to her. Without hesitating, she slipped the back cover off, took the battery out, replaced the cover, and put the battery in her pocket, then handed the phone back to me; this bizarre action only made me more worried.

"Why'd you do that?" I couldn't help but ask. She sighed heavily; a deeply labored sound, as if the weight of the world rested on her shoulders.

"I just wanna make sure you have time to think first," she said cryptically, her voice rough and quiet. She still wouldn't face me, but I knew from her voice that she was near tears…the weight of her pain overrode the fear, and I wrapped my arms around her from behind, nuzzling her hair.

"Baby, please…just tell me what's wrong," I whispered in her ear, my voice cracking. I felt her shudder as she muffled a sob, then she sniffled and seemed to pull herself together again.

"Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I really do love you, Burns," she said quietly, her voice strained. "I never faked or pretended anything in any of our time together…all of it was real."

This worried me more than I could say, but that same fear locked my voice, prevented me from asking what she was talking about. Of course I knew she loved me; of course she'd never pretended to enjoy being with me. What could she possibly say to make me think otherwise? I dreaded the answer, but I knew it had to be coming.

"I haven't been completely honest with you, Burns…I won't say that I lied, because if you look at things from my perspective, it was all true…but I didn't tell you everything." Another shudder ran through her, and I held her closer. "If I were more logical, I'd keep my mouth shut…but I can't do that anymore. I can't hide this from you…I love you too much for that…but I'm scared…telling you could get me killed."

Her last words were barely audible, but they chilled me to the bone. What kind of secret could she possibly have? How would telling me get her killed? It was obvious from her tone that she truly felt that way, and it hurt and scared me more than I could say. I decided to stay silent, to let her say whatever she needed to, even though I was afraid of what I would hear.

"I ran into an old boyfriend once, about a year before the world found out what was happening…I noticed his eyes seemed to reflect the light, and when I asked him about it, he said he'd gotten these specially made contacts. I thought they looked really cool, so I ordered some, but I never got around to wearing them, even though I had a nice little stockpile of them. Anyway…my son…he came home from school one day…it was about three years ago. He came home and _**begged**_ me not to send him to school the next day; he said the teachers were acting funny, that their eyes were shiny…" Her voice hitched, and an unexpected jolt of anxiety ran through me; this was nothing like what I was expecting.

"I didn't listen," she whispered brokenly, her voice close to a sob. "I should've just taken him and left, but I didn't…I put him on the bus the next morning…at the time, I worked evenings at a convenience store, but I was off that day. I noticed something was off as soon as he got home…before, he was always trying to start playing or watching TV when he got home, but he actually sat down and started doing his homework before I could even say anything. After that, he started cleaning his room, putting up his toys, cleaning up every mess he'd made in the house…I always had to stay on him constantly to do things like that, but he was doing it without me asking him to. I thought he might've been sick or something…I took his temperature, asked him if he felt okay…then I remembered what he'd said before, about the teachers acting funny, but he just said it was all okay now. I didn't notice till I was tucking him in that night…a car was passing by, and the headlights were shining through the window…and the light bounced off his eyes like mirrors. They turned the school into an insertion facility…in just one day, all the children, all at once…gone…erased."

Her words both confused and scared me; I was confused because she was talking about her host's memories as if they were her own. I was scared because she had led me to believe that her son had been killed when the fighting broke out, and the way the story was going, that wasn't what had happened at all—not to mention she was speaking from her host's perspective, and her tone was so miserable, so pained, that it made my heart ache.

"I was terrified, but I wouldn't show it…I don't think I slept at all that night. It was a school day the next day, and I put him on the bus like I normally did…and as soon as he was gone, I packed a bag and left. I stopped by my parents' house first, but I when I got there, I found their eyes had changed like his had, and I got in my car and drove straight out of town. I was supposed to work that night, so he was already going to ride the bus to their house…I didn't know what was happening, but I knew it had happened to all of them, so I figured my parents would take care of him. I didn't bother calling in to work—I just threw my phone out the car window on the side of the highway.

"I just kept driving, went as far as I could…I didn't have a lot of money, but what I had was enough to get me two states away. I stayed on the road as much as possible…there was so much fighting going on, I didn't wanna get caught in the crossfire. I was almost out of money and gas, and I stopped at this store to try to find something to eat and hopefully get another few miles down the road. I'd started wearing the contacts, and I didn't seem to have a problem the few times I'd had to stop…I wore sunglasses too, cuz I didn't know who was who until I got close to them.

"Well, I'd done a lot of watching and listening whenever I had to stop, and I'd gleaned a little information from that, like what a Calling is and that the people with reflective eyes called themselves Souls. The cashier behind the counter was a Soul, and so were most of the customers…I kept looking at the food, trying to figure out what I could afford and still be able to put gas in my car, but after a few minutes I noticed something…I had that same job, so I knew all the sounds that went with it, but even though he'd served several customers, I hadn't heard the cash drawer open and shut. I watched in the corner of my eye, and sure enough, he was ringing up everything people were getting, but nobody was paying for anything…I was getting ready to try my luck when a couple of humans ran in with guns…I guess they didn't know that there was no money in the store, that they didn't need it anymore, cuz that's what they were after…when they saw the clerk's eyes, they shot him and ran out.

"I'd been hiding behind a shelf, but when they left, I ran behind the counter. The clerk was hurt, but it wasn't a fatal injury…I called 911 and found some clean rags, kept pressure on the wound, tried to stop the bleeding…the paramedics were Souls, too. One of them noticed how calmly I seemed to handle the situation, how I seemed to know what to do, and they asked me what my Calling was. I told them I worked in a fast food restaurant, which wasn't a total lie; it was something I'd done before. They just smiled and said that maybe I'd missed my Calling as a Healer…I was curious, so I asked questions…next thing I knew, I was learning everything there was about becoming a Healer."

I listened to her story in silence, trying to let it sink in. I felt like I was missing something, some vital piece of the puzzle, that it would all make sense if I only had that one little tidbit. All through her story, she kept her position, still not facing me, and a sense of foreboding shot through me. When I finally found my voice, it was shaky and quiet.

"I don't understand," I told her. I didn't—I was too confused. She started shaking again, and she finally let go of the mantle, lowered her arms, and turned to face me, her head still bowed.

"Burns, look at me," she whispered, slowly raising her head up to meet my eyes. "Really look."

I did as she said, noticing first the tears that streamed down her face. I wiped them away, but I knew that couldn't have been what she was talking about, so I studied her face intently, looking for any detail that I might have missed. It took several moments for me to realize that my eyes kept landing on hers, and several moments after that to realize why…fear and horror filled me as I pulled away from her, taking several steps back as I stared at her eyes…the eyes I'd known so well were a deep green. Just green…no silver to catch and reflect the light.

More tears filled her eyes when she saw my reaction; she looked like she wanted to take a step toward me, but fear was in her eyes as well.

"You…you're…human?!" I breathed out, my voice constricted.

"Is it a crime?" she asked quietly, her tone pleading. "I haven't hurt anyone…not a single Soul…I've only performed an extraction twice, and both times it was authorized. I've implanted far more people than that." Pain twisted her voice. "I've _erased_ more people than that…I've never lifted a finger to harm anyone. Is it such a terrible thing for me to be human?"

My entire world had turned upside down in the last few minutes; the woman I loved was a wild human! Despite her earlier claims, every aspect of our relationship now seemed like a lie…how could she possibly love me? She wasn't even my species, and she knew that the entire time!

"You used me," I realized aloud.

"No, I didn't," she insisted, her tone pleading, but I refused to listen.

"Everything…everything was a lie," I continued, my heart breaking as it finally sank in. "You never loved me—you _lied_ to me!"

Tears burned my eyes, and I turned and ran out of the apartment, then jumped in my car and left. I didn't know where I was going or what I was doing; I just drove and drove and drove. I didn't really have any friends, so I couldn't call anyone to tell them what happened, and even if I did, she still had the battery to my phone. Looking at our relationship the way I saw it at that moment, every memory was tainted with the lie…the lie of omission, the ultimate deception, the darkest secret I'd never thought possible.

Suddenly, it became too much, and I pulled over on the side of the road and stopped the car, then rested my head on the steering wheel and started sobbing. The pain in my chest was excruciating…too much…the final death would be preferable to this agony. If I could've opened my chest and removed my heart, it would've been less painful than this.

I don't know how long I'd been there before a knock at the window startled me; I looked up to find a Seeker peering in at me, looking concerned. She was probably in her early 40's, with short, spiky blond hair, blue eyes, and an athletic build. It took a moment for me to realize she wanted me to roll the window down, and a moment longer in my haze of pain and horror to actually do it.

"Sir, are you all right?" she asked, her tone worried. I was still in so much agony that I couldn't bear it…I shook my head no.

"Are you injured? Do you need a Healer?" It took me a moment to think this through…I shook my head no again, and confusion crossed the Seeker's face.

"What's your name?"

"Burns Living Flowers."

"What happened, Burns Living Flowers?"

"My partner…Earthborn…she was…the whole time…" I was barely coherent; my thoughts were so jumbled, made worse by the pain radiating from my chest. The one word…the one word that would explain everything, and I couldn't bring myself to say it. Sympathy mixed with the concern and confusion on the Seeker's face, and she reached in and opened the door.

"We should get you to a Healer, Burns Living Flowers. You're in shock," she said kindly…I allowed her to pull me out of my car and lead me to hers, then she helped me into her car and drove off.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

I was still in shock when I finally arrived home…it was hard to believe that my world had turned upside down only eleven hours before. Only eleven hours since Earthborn had told me she was human—it felt like a lifetime ago. When I'd finally been able to say the word _human_, the Seeker took action immediately and called for backup, but it turned out there was no need; she was gone by the time the Seekers arrived at her apartment.

Without turning on the lights, I closed my door behind me and stumbled into the bedroom, then threw myself face down on the bed. Something was on there that didn't belong…a rectangular, flat object on my pillow. Confused, I turned on the bedside lamp and picked it up. It was an envelope, unsealed; I flipped it over and froze…it had my name written on it, in _her_ handwriting!

I panicked and ran through my apartment, turning on all the lights and checking every nook and cranny that she could possibly hide in…she wasn't there, nothing else had been disturbed, but I turned the locks and went back into the bedroom, back to the envelope.

My hands trembled as I picked it back up…I had to sit down when I pulled the paper out…it was a letter…there was something else in the envelope too, and I dumped it into my palm…a portable USB drive. I set it on my nightstand and opened the letter, then started to read.

_Burns,_

_By the time you read this, I'll be long gone—and if you are reading this, you've gone to the Seekers and told them my secret. I doubt the Seekers will find me…I've gotten good at hiding over the years. It's not surprising that you went to them. After all, you're a Soul, and doing the right thing is vital to you, and most people would say that it was the right thing to do._

_Was it, though? If you really think about it, you might not be so certain. I wasn't lying when I told you that I had never harmed a Soul, and keep in mind, I have all the knowledge of a Healer at my disposal; if I had chosen to take that path, I could have removed countless Souls from their hosts over the years and destroyed them without harm to the human bodies. I could have done that, but I chose a better path—to simply follow my Calling._

_Now that you know the truth about me, you might be able to fully appreciate how difficult it has been for me. I was drawn to you right from the beginning, but I fought against that pull because it frightened me so much. That was my purpose in moving so often—so I wouldn't be able to develop attachments to anyone. You didn't even try, and you brought out emotions in me that I thought I'd never feel again…hope, desire…love. What does it say about me that the man I love is an alien?_

_I wish so badly that you hadn't gone to the Seekers. I had to tell you the truth, Burns…it was killing me inside to hide it from you as long as I did, but I had hoped that you loved me enough that we could have talked it through. Obviously, I was wrong…I guess I loved you more than you loved me. I never would have wanted you to change, but you wanted to erase me just because I happened to be human. I know what the Souls have been led to believe, but think about every moment we've spent together in the last year. Have you ever seen me angry? Violent? Have you ever heard me even raise my voice to anyone, aside from when they couldn't hear me well? You know the answer as well as I do. No, you haven't, because I haven't done any of those things. Look inside your host's memories, if you don't believe me. Unless he was a criminal or just an all-around jerk, you'll see for yourself. Not all humans are the same, Burns. I just wanted to live my life in peace and heal people, but I can't do that anymore…not with the Seekers looking for me._

_I'm not saying that I'll sink so low as what you think of when you think of a "wild" human; I'm just saying that I have to be much more cautious, and I'll have to change my Calling. I wish it weren't necessary, but it is._

_Since I'm writing this in preparation, I don't know at this point how much I got to tell you, but my real name is Jessica. After I became a Healer, I looked up my son in the computer system…his name is now Spiraling Melody, and he lives with my parents, as I assumed he would when I left. There are times when I have been tempted to return home—to rejoin my family, to be able to love my son again—but it's pointless. The bodies are there, the memories are there, but the awareness, the consciousness of my son and my parents are gone. It's not the bodies and the memories, but the person inside—the little quirks—that matters, and my son is gone, erased by the Soul inside him like he never mattered…but he mattered to me, more than you could possibly understand._

_You have no idea how much the guilt has eaten at me inside, Burns. If I had only listened to my son, if I had taken him and ran a day earlier, I might still have him now. If I had moved on like I normally did, if I hadn't stayed with you, I wouldn't have had to implant that baby…remember that day? I might as well have murdered that child, Burns, because that's essentially what I did…when I implanted that baby, I erased any person that might have been. If any other human knew what I've done, they would want to kill me even worse than they want to kill the Souls, because I'm a traitor to my own species._

_I know you probably feel like I betrayed you, and I can understand why you feel that way, but let me ask a question. If I had told you outright, at the very beginning, what I was, wouldn't you have gone straight to the Seekers? There would have been less pain involved for both of us, but look at how much love we would have missed out on! I love you more than I ever thought I could love a man. Even now, after you've betrayed my trust and sold me to the Seekers, I still love you, and I wish you had chosen differently. As lonely as I was before, it was at least bearable because I didn't know the love that you've given me. Now, I don't know how long I'll be able to take it before I completely fall apart._

_Even if the Seekers find me, they wouldn't keep me as a host. I have too many mental problems. Depression, PTSD, tendencies to self-mutilate…they would discard me like yesterday's trash. Either way, you'll never see me again, but after the events of tonight, I'm pretty sure that's what you want._

_Forever yours,_

_Jessica_

_P.S.—I've enclosed a flash drive, which contains a copy of my entire music library. All the music is from human times, and while some of it may be disturbing to you, I've found that all of it reflects what I've thought or felt at any given time in my life. While there are songs about love and life and happiness and simple pleasures, there are also songs of loss, pain, betrayal, anger, guilt, and nearly every other emotion that exists. I hope you can find some closure, and I love you, even though you don't feel the same way._

It took a long time to read the letter because I couldn't stop myself from crying all over again, even though I thought I had run out of tears hours ago. My heart shattered all over again as her final words to me, courtesy of the letter in my hand, ran through my mind. How could she believe that I wanted to erase her? I loved her more than anything! Did she truly believe that she meant so little to me, after everything we'd endured together?

Even though I was still reeling from the revelation that she had been human the entire time, I thought about everything she had told me, both in the letter and in our last conversation. It was in my nature to be fair, and I finally started to consider things from her unique perspective.

The world spun on its head yet again as I saw everything as she must have seen it. Surrounded by aliens, the possibility of being discovered at any given time, constantly at risk of being implanted—a fate that equaled death in her eyes—yet the only thing she was guilty of was being herself. She was a Healer to the core of her being; although she was surely capable of violence, she disliked that idea, and instead chose to heal, to help and even save the very aliens that would turn on her in an instant if they learned the truth.

In that instant, I felt so revolted and horrified by what I was, it was difficult to see or even breathe. Even the Fire World hadn't made me feel such horror for what I was…violence had been a part of life there, however necessary for survival, but that was nothing compared to this planet. We had taken lives, erased good and bad people indiscriminately, discarded so many others for any physical and mental defects that Healers were unable to fix…

How could she have loved me? She knew from the start what I was, knew that I was a Soul, knew that I was the same kind of creature that had stolen her son—her son! The boy who meant more to her than anything—away from her, yet somehow, even knowing about me, even knowing all that, she had fallen for me anyway…she had even loved me enough to tell me the truth, to tell me the secret she had hidden all these years, to tell me her real identity…and in my shock and panic and misplaced fear, I had told the Seekers.

Shame overwhelmed me…for the first time in all my lives, I understood the appeal that suicide offered to certain individuals. If it were possible to do successfully, I would have removed myself from my host body and let myself die in agony. The final death would be a welcome end to this misery, my unbearable shame and remorse, the tremendous grief and heartbreak of knowing just what I'd done. She knew better than I what she was talking about; she would not be kept as a host if she were ever caught, and my betrayal of her was too great for her to even consider coming back to me…I would never see her again.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

I barely looked up as the Comforter they had assigned to me at the Healing facility walked into my apartment; despite my physical and mental exhaustion, I hadn't slept in three days, but I was beyond caring. All I had done was listen to the music Jessica had left me—the only part of her that was left. She was right. Some of it had been disturbing to me—such anger and hatred and violence—but I found I connected with many of the others, particularly the ones of regret and self-loathing and apologies. The happier, more upbeat songs were unbearable to listen to in my current state of agony.

"Burns Living Flowers?" she addressed me, raising her voice to be heard over the music blaring from my computer. I sighed and put my head in my hands; all I wanted was to be left alone to grieve for my mistakes, but this woman was insistent in wanting to help me. Didn't she realize that nothing would help me but having Jessica back? I had stopped thinking of her as Earthborn…I had read and reread her letter so many times, it was hard to remember why I had called her that in the first place.

After a few moments, I felt a weight settle on the edge of the couch where I lay. Nancy—the Comforter—gingerly rested a hand on my arm. The broken pieces of my heart had dulled my sensitivity to everything else, and I couldn't find the energy to shrug out of her touch.

"Burns, this isn't healthy," she said gently…I refused to look at her; everything about her irritated me, from her presence to her words. "I understand that you're upset, but-"

"Upset doesn't even begin to cover it," I said abruptly, cutting her off. "You have no idea what I'm feeling, so just leave me alone."

"Tell me…help me understand."

Wordlessly, I picked the letter up off the table and handed it to her. I didn't bother to look at Nancy as she silently read it to herself…I had a feeling I knew what her reaction would be, and my nerves were shot as it was.

"Burns, I'm sure the news was devastating to you," she finally whispered, her voice shaking. "But surely you realize that this letter is a lie, don't you?"

"It's not."

"Yes, it is," she insisted gently. "Humans lie…we all know this. They're deceitful, violent creatures. It's not possible for one of them to have the knowledge she possesses and not use it to harm our kind."

"You didn't know her," I growled. "Ask anyone that knew her…nobody would've thought in a million years that she was a wild human. Besides, I checked…every city she's ever been to, every place she ever worked…there was never a single disappearance anywhere, the entire time she was in the area. She was a true Healer…she wasn't like other humans."

"And she hid the truth from everyone, Burns—even you, the one that she claimed to love."

"She loved me enough to tell me the truth, Comforter…and I sold her out to the Seekers. She trusted me, and I betrayed her." I let out a bitter laugh, a short bark. "I'm more human than she is…Souls don't betray each other."

"You did the right thing…even if you're correct about her history, that doesn't guarantee that she won't change her actions in the future." She spoke with a gentle, consoling tone, but it only enraged me, and I lowered my hands to finally look at her; she took one look at my expression and scooted back.

"You still don't get it, do you?" I hissed, my eyes burning. "I _**love**_ her! If I could go back to that night, I would've stayed right there with her and told her it didn't matter to me if she was human or not! Telling the Seekers was the biggest mistake I ever made, and I'll never get the chance to make things right with her!"

I didn't care that I was shouting now…I couldn't even bring myself to care that Nancy was backpedaling to the door, her expression terrified.

"I need her with me! I need to tell her how sorry I am! _**Nothing**_ is gonna change that! I have to find her!"

I stood there, my chest heaving, my eyes wide at the realization that had struck me with the force of a wrecking ball…I _**did**_ have to find her…the Comforter had fled by that point, and I was grateful for the chance to think. Jessica was able to lie as only a human could, yet was a better Soul than I could ever hope to be, so I doubted she'd ever get caught by a Seeker…but I knew her better than anyone else. Hope swelled in my chest, made my agony diminish just enough to see what I needed to do…I didn't care how long it took…I'd search for the rest of eternity if I had to, but I would find her.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

**A/N:** Whew! Finally, the last chapter! I'm not entirely happy with this chapter right now, it's too short and not detailed enough in my opinion, but I'm open for suggestions! And I promise, this is not the end. There is a sequel! Just haven't started posting it yet. Trying to get the last few chapters for it written first, but it's tough. Anyway, thanks to everyone who read my little story, and especially thanks to Cypress16, CelestialAngel2000, and the guest Vera for their awesome reviews!

*Six months later*

I stared across the dark crevice to my new companion…it had taken me forever to get rid of the Seekers that had followed me, hoping that I would be able to lead them to Jessica, to uncover her as they had failed to do. It was in that running that I ran into Nate—a chase through the woods had led me to his location, where he was lying in the bushes, in bad shape from a gunshot wound that had gotten infected. When the Seekers had gotten closer, I rolled both of us into a hollow under a fallen tree and clamped my hand over his mouth; I knew he had seen my eyes, but he'd been in no shape to struggle.

Once I was sure the Seekers were gone, I pulled him back out and treated his wounds, using the knowledge Jessica had given me of Soul medicines and my small supply that I had scavenged from a small Healing facility to do so. As I'd expected, he'd been suspicious and wary, and the first thing he did was ask me why I hadn't turned him over to the Seekers—so naturally, I told him about Jessica, about every aspect of our relationship from beginning to end…and how desperately I needed to find her, to do the impossible and make things right between us again, even though I had committed the ultimate betrayal.

It was only when I showed him both her picture and her last letter that he seemed to soften, or maybe it was the tears that filled my eyes that convinced him. Either way, he owed me his life twice over—once for saving him from the Seekers, and once for healing his badly infected wounds that surely would have killed him—and he reluctantly agreed to take me with him, but only under the provision that I allowed myself to be blindfolded.

It was the first time I'd been around a wild human, alone, without the safety of society to fall back on. Still, I'd seen through my relationship with Jessica what being human was all about, and I was no longer afraid as I would have been before. Sure, humans had a capacity for violence, hatred, and every terrible thing you could think of…but they also had such depths of compassion and love and kindness that it rivaled the Souls. I wasn't sure what to expect of this new life or my new companion, but I would face it head-on, with as much bravery and composure as Jessica did when her world turned upside down with the invasion…it would dishonor her to do any less.

The End


End file.
